Blodwen

I had life changing complications during a hysterectomy from which I will never recover.  I never asked questions because I was too traumatised and trying to concentrate on staying alive.  I regret that decision and fell now I can never have closure as I am now out of time for answers.  Just seems very unfair, like a double wounding - the Initial physical wounds caused by the surgery coupled with the psychological damage of no answers.  

Hi Joanne,

Thank you for your comment.

It’s a very long story but in answer to your question, no I haven't had support specific to what happened.  The operation was carried out in a private hospital 100 miles from where I lived.  When it was evident my bowel had perforated,  I was transferred to a NHS hospital under same consultant where I remained for three months being being vein fed.  It was recommended I have counselling on my discharge but there was a mix up and in all honesty I was too traumatised to chase things up .  Plus I was told my condition was temporary and I would heal so I spent two years sat on my bed afraid to move as every time I did faecal matter spilled out of places it shouldn’t.  The much awaited repair in 2017 resulted in respiratory failure and sepsis.  Three years on I’m still unwell and the condition I have ( Enterocutaneous fistula ) I truly believe is killing me but no one can do anything as they know more surgery probably will kill me more quickly than the fistula itself.

I have had some systemic counselling as my husband and I are also falling apart.  I think the psychologist can see I need more help as I’m just not coping but where I’m from help is just not available, especially now with Covid.  I’m very alone with this as is I suspect most people who have suffered harm as there is nothing out there.

I will check out the links you kindly included
thank you 

Really interesting article and one that resonates deeply with me.  Before I continue I’d like to say my heart goes out to all who have lost love ones, so tragic and I’m so sorry.

i had catastrophic surgical complications which left me unable to eat or drink ( I was vein fed for months but I can now eat ), spent months in hospital, suffered respiratory failure and sepsis.  Five years on im still broken physically and mentally ( I have a very complex abdominal fistula, a sight threatening eye condition which is linked to the bowel problem  and PTSD, depression and anxiety.  When it happened it was somehow normalised and I was made to feel I should be grateful to be alive not sad my health had been so severely compromised.  I never pursued it as I was too traumatised. I suppose there are two types of harm, where someone is to blame or when it’s ‘one of those things’.  I was even told ‘ well you signed the consent form’ ( not by my consultant who is very kind).  It’s been hell on Earth and still is yet there is no help. I’m now so traumatised about going back into hospital , I keep putting a much needed procedure off. 
I think things will get worse for people like me after Covid as there will be a lot of traumatised people out there.   I am told ‘oh what happened to you is very rare’ ( so it doesn’t count ), to which I sometimes say ‘it’s only rare until it happens to you’.  
sorry if my comment isn’t appropriate, I can't imagine how it feels to lose someone through harm and don’t pretend to.  I have lost myself though in all of this and my husband has lost his wife.  I feel invisible and irrelevant.