Kassie

I am eighteen years old, and around two days ago I had a Liletta hormonal IUD fitted. I was aware that it would be painful, even though I had a ton of people telling me otherwise. But even then, I didn't have any clue how bad it would physically hurt. Everybody had told me that I was strong, and that it would just feel like really bad period cramping. Which in a way I figured was true. I DID in fact have a rather high pain tolerance, and it took a whole lot for me to be phased by a lot of things. I was not mentally weak either, I was not sensitive or woozy about mostly anything. So I figured I had this whole procedure in the bag. I was completely and utterly wrong. I had never been to an OBGYN before this, so this was my first time ever having something digging around down there. That did not help in the slightest. I was in an EXTREMELY vulnerable position, and I was already anxious about what I was in for. I had read up on what they did, and it sounded excruciating. When my OBGYN came in, we didn't talk. It was almost like in the blink of an eye. Somehow, I was already withing seconds, sitting with my legs spread and a speculum in me. I was hyperventilating and beginning to panic, because my OBGYN hadn't communicated with me. We hadn't said anything before she had my feet propped up in fact. I hadn't been given the time to be able to communicate the fact that I was incredibly nervous. When she was swabbing my cervix, I had begun to beg her to slow down, because it was all happening too fast for me. Which she didn't end up doing, she had just began telling me that I was doing great, even though I had no idea what was happening. I had only a slight idea from what I had read up online. I was able to handle them measuring my uterus, it did in fact just feel like cramping. All I had to do was breathe and listen to the music I had playing. What happened next is a blur, though thankfully my partner was there with me and has been able to inform me what happened form an outside perspective. I had blacked out, not fainted but blacked out. So I was still able to feel the pain. I was completely frozen while staring at the ceiling, and I had gone pale, and began sweating profusely. I was whimpering, and cursing uncontrollably once they had officially begun. Then, I screamed. It was done rather fast, because she seemed to be in a hurry (which has currently left me worried about how good she did with the placement). And then when it was over, this is what got to me, she had told me to sit up right when it was over. I did so, slowly, and thankfully with my partners help. I had immediately felt an insane amount of dizziness, I couldn't breathe, and I immediately recognized that I might vomit (thankfully, I didn't). My OBGYN handed me a paper, explained what it was (while I was still partially deaf, mind you) and proceeded to tell me to leave when I was ready. She didn't wait for me to be stable enough to ask questions (which I had quite a few), and she didn't wait to see if I would recover properly. Nor did she check in on me. Thankfully, she had understood my whisper of a beg for a vomit bag and water. I had been left in a doctor's office feeling violated and in the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life. I immediately had to lay back down, and I couldn't physically stomach the idea of even moving. It took me around fifteen to twenty minutes for me to be able to stand up properly and even put on my pants (with my partners help, as he had to put my shoes back on for me) When I had limped back to the waiting room, the first thing I did was cry to my mother, who had drove us there. I am dreading getting it out, and have been left with physical and mental trauma of ever attending a gynecologist appointment again. I had a nightmare yesterday about the whole experience. I feel physically ill whenever I remember the idea that I have to get it removed. I thankfully haven't had any side effects from the insertion, and didn't even bleed. I'm healing incredibly well, but I still think about the idea of the whole experience in nothing but disgust. It didn't feel worth it, and I just beg it is in the long run.