ClaraR_ose

I’m so sad and enraged that so many women have spoken out about this and it continues to happen. I had a coil appointment last week. I was sent a video beforehand. There was no mention of pain and no suggestion whatsoever about taking painkillers. It said it may be ‘uncomfortable’. I would describe getting a tattoo as mildly uncomfortable. What happened to me was excruciating. I told doctors I used to get severe cramps and heavy bleeding that resulted in my often passing out from pain as a child. I’d bleed through sanitary products and leak through in under an hour (so had to leave class regularly). This was of course dismissed by medical professionals for a long time until I was put on the combined pill. This worked for years until I got very frequent migraines with aura and was no deemed too high risk for combined pill. so I was advised to switch to Mirena. I was told the copper coil could hurt but not the mirena. On the day, I was advised that the mirena will be most effective for my painful/heavy periods but that if I had any painkillers or anaesthetic this would make it harder for the doctor to insert it, and I may have to go with a less effective option. I hadn’t been advised that it would be painful so I said that’s fine. When they straightened out my cervix that was really weird and disconcerting and mostly a dull pain with sharp moments, but if it had stayed at that level of pain I would have been ok. However the measuring utensil went in and the pain increased and increased and I was gripping the bed with my feet (the doctor commented on it), then it hit the top of my uterus felt like what I can only describe as a bomb going off inside my body - cramps unlike anything I could ever imagine. I flinched and I think it hit again which sent further shockwaves. In that precise moment I decided I never wanted children, if it felt anything like that I am 100% out. I wanted it all to stop, I was losing consciousness and I remember making audible screams of pain as my lips were turning blue (according to the doctor). But I couldn’t stop. My god I wanted to say no. To make it stop. But I knew if it stopped I’d have to do it all again. So I went through the insertion which was worse than the last. I was awake but it felt like my body was shutting down, like I usually felt when I passed out as a child. I was overheating and trying to take my clothes off, and couldn’t get up. My heart rate dropped from 60s to 43. The doctors were clearly very concerned about me and did stay with me until I was able to start to slowly get up and get dressed. I heard the doctors saying to each other that if women knew what it was actually like they probably wouldn’t go through with it. I felt lied to. I eventually made my way to the bathroom and sat there unable to move or process until the doctors came and knocked for me and I managed to get up a while after this. I was taken to another room for about 1hr30. I asked them when will the pain stop and they said in a few days and I felt like I wanted to rip it out myself because I couldn’t. When my heart rate got to about 50 I think and I was allowed to leave. It took me about 40 minutes to take my 10 minute train journey (with under 5 minutes walk on one side and under 1 minute walk on the other). I got home and I cried and cried and cried. I barely ever cry (and I’d been on progesterone only for about 2 months so let’s not say it’s just hormones). I cried 5+ times a day for 4 days and I’m on that 4th day now. This included when I woke up and when I go to bed. I’ve cancelled all my plans because I’m so traumatised by it. I work in an emergency services and I see traumatic things most days and just crack on. I fear that people will tell me I’m being dramatic but I am not. I’ve had panic attacks at the thought of having a smear test, iud removal, having sex, and even have researched how to remove it myself because I’m so scared. I was robbed of the opportunity to give informed consent, which is so damaging. This is especially true for me because the vagina is such an intimate place, and to be inflicted such harm, there, of all places, has been truly damaging and has bookmarked my life. We have to start listening to women’s experiences and properly researching and recording their pain. Even if doctors want to (fallaciously) assume women have lower pain thresholds, then that doesn’t mean they should have more pain inflicted on them. If patient As 10/10 pain is patient bs 5/10 pain, we shouldn’t be saying well let patient A be in agony then, because they’re weak. No they are not. This is there experience. Hear it. The NHS has to do better. The information leading up to the appointment has to explain the experience. Painkillers beforehand should be recommended. Doctors should be properly trained so that they can confidently insert iuds with anaesthetic so patients do not need to make a choice between pain and a successful insertion or less pain and an unsuccessful one. If anyone knows of any current campaigns for better awareness, research, information and pain relief, please let me know.