Woody

A few months ago I had a hospital appointment as a follow-up from Ultrasound investigation for fibroids. On this visit the ultrasound result was discussed and then I was asked to lay on the couch for an examination, a female doctor and either 1 or 2 nurses in attendance (I can't remember how many as I was so scared by the situation I was suddenly in. The doctor said 'we need a quick look at the fibroid so we need to insert a camera/scope past your cervix to get a closer look' What happened next is still traumatising me a few months on, I was on the couch, and they started to try to get the camera/scope in through my cervix. The pain was worse than anything I have ever felt, I was in agony. The first attempt failed so they tried again causing even more pain & distress. A third attempt followed and the doctor mentioned I had a very strong cervix which was fighting her and not letting her get through. The pain was worse with every attempt and my anxiety was through the roof. I begged them to stop as I couldn't take any more pain. They did stop and left me to get dressed...it was only after they had done that the doctor said 'Have you never had children?' I was left traumatised, shaking and felt sick with the pain and I bled for a few days afterwards. I now have extreme anxiety and am getting flashbacks. I have to attend another hospital in a few weeks time for a hysteroscopy, on researching what was likely to be done I realised that the procedure was almost identical to the one at the other hospital. I explained to my new consultant about what had happened to me and how fearful I am. He seems very good over the phone and has assured I can have gas & air, pain relief to be taken prior to the procedure and will use the smallest scope he can and at any time I can't cope he will stop if I ask. I hope he will be as good as his word, On the phone appointment he did not sound too impressed by my earlier experience. My fear & anxiety is off the scale. I have to have this done as they are checking in case it's anything more serious than a large fibroid because of my symptoms so I know it makes sense - I'm just terrified after what happened at the other place, I can't get it out of my mind. Am I correct in thinking that the first hospital did indeed spring a hysteroscopy on me? I ask as I had no warning, no pain relief prior to the appointment, no anaesthetic gel during the procedure and I was left feeling totally violated.