‘The pain was worse than giving birth’: why are so many women separated from their babies in prison?

One by one, 29 women sat before Dr Laura Abbott in similarly small, nondescript rooms across five UK prisons, and described losing their babies. They were not bereaved in the conventional sense – although they were clearly holding in grief, as once the guards had left, they let rare public tears fall. Prisoners who had given birth in custody, they had been separated from their newborn children. In some cases this had happened within four or five days of becoming mothers.

“It was worse than giving birth,” said one woman. “That was the hardest pain of my life. I’ve never felt pain like it … It was in my chest, in my heart. Even in my belly.”

“It was as if my whole body craved him,” said another woman. “It’s like losing a limb, losing your sight,” a third explained. “It’s like losing any hope.”

Some of the mothers were still producing milk when Abbott and her assistants spoke to them. One said she was so reluctant to raise this in the prison that she was expressing manually into her cell sink.

Abbott, 54, a former midwife and senior lecturer in midwifery at the University of Hertfordshire, spoke to the women last year for the Lost Mothers Project, which will be launching at the British Museum in London on 8 May.

A collaboration between the university, the charity Birth Companions and an advisory team of women with lived experience, the report, which is the result of three years of research, examines the experiences and needs of an invisible cohort.

Anna (not her real name), 38, has endured this. She was six months pregnant when she was sent to prison nine years ago for her first offence. She was at full term when she finally stood before an MBU board. She is vocal about the horrors of giving birth in custody. She had to press her call bell “four or five times for an hour” when she felt labour pains. She says she was taken to hospital in handcuffs: “[The guard] told me to be grateful that she put me in long cuffs.” They were taken off before she was taken to the delivery suite – since 2022, it is mandated that restraints must not be used on pregnant women taken to appointments unless they are deemed essential.

But it is when she talks about her subsequent separation from her son that Anna momentarily loses her words. She was initially granted an MBU place, but when bailed before sentencing she had to go back to the beginning, and needed to reapply when she returned to prison. This bureaucratic delay resulted in a five-week separation.

Anna began to feel suicidal, and even stopped her mum bringing her son to visit. “It was just getting harder. Sometimes my legs felt heavy, as if they didn’t want to walk away,” she says. “Sorry, I’m getting upset …” She continues: “It was as if somebody was tearing my heart out.”

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Source: The Guardian, 6 May 2025